On Monday, I received my yearly evaluation from my boss. Right before she called me into her office, I was scavenging boxes from the supply guy. Some of the boxes used to ship syringes are very sturdy and small enough to pack books without being too heavy to lift. I get excited when I can collect these boxes for my upcoming move. I carried a box into my boss’s office and told her it is in case I have to empty my locker after the eval. This is the type of fun and joking relationship we have.
I was not sure how this eval would be because I have begun to drift away from work related projects ever since I got the Saudi job offer. But the review is for the whole past year, and I forgot how awesome I was for the first half. I received the best score out of my five years as a staff nurse! 5 out of 5. I am considered a “role model nurse”. I want to print out this evaluation and staple it to my resume.
She pointed out all the things I have done simply for the benefit of the unit. Last March, I organized a Books for Baby donation drive in the hospital lobby. (It reminded me I should do it again this year since my job is delayed until April.) Also, I organized a bulletin board for NICU nurses week with photos and stories of our past patients in September. I emailed every parent on our NICU reunion list and had a nice turnout of responses. I really hope someone takes over that next year in my absence. I volunteer to work a lot of extra shifts (even though that is for overtime pay more than to be nice.) But this past month, I volunteered to work some night shifts because that shift had two nurses out for medical leave. I did not tell them that some of that reason was to help me adjust to nights again since my job in Jeddah will be rotating shifts. I make signs for the parents if the baby is born under 4 pounds each time they gain another pound. This project, I really try to get others to help but they always assume I will do them all. But sometimes when I am off for a week or more, the babies do not get their “pound prize.”
My boss also said my attitude has improved. Last year in my evaluation, the only negative comment she had for me was that I can be moody and I show my feelings too much. I wear my heart on my sleeve. She said I have been a lot better with hiding irritation and distress, or maybe I just don’t get upset anymore. The truth is, I think I let things slide more now that I have been counting down to my last day. It is like when I was a travel nurse. I was able to hide when I did not like my job or coworkers cause I thought “only here 3 months. Then off to better places and things.” Even though my last day is not confirmed and keeps getting delayed, I know this chapter is closing soon. (In fact, when I first accepted the Saudi job, I wrote January 29th as my resignation date in my calendar.)
I felt a little bit guilty that she values my work so much but I will be leaving. I wanted to tell her about the job offer, but I do not trust her to keep a secret. I am still not sure if I will tell my coworkers where I am going. Two of my coworkers worked in Saudi in the 1980s and have nothing but negative things to say about it, but they also say negative things about Mexico and Central America, and seems anywhere with brown people. Due to a lot of conservative views of my coworkers, I might just tell them “I am leaving the area because broke up with my boyfriend and there is nothing left for me in this area.” It is the truth, and just gonna be vague about where I am moving.
I hope my first evaluation in Jeddah is as good!